ROMEO and having a good time
All you have to be is old. And sociable. And have a little spare time.
It’s quite a phenomenon, this ROMEO thing – “Retired Old Men Eating Out.” Geezers getting together to dine and reminisce and do stuff that’s more fun doing in a group than by yourself.
It’s a local club that can be started by anybody, a club with little structure or agenda or formal standing. Its website says, “The only rule is … there are no rules.”
My friend Bob Raymond started one in Naples after trying unsuccessfully to get into an existing ROMEO group some years ago run by the redoubtable Murray Hendel. “You can’t join our group,” Murray said with a laugh. “You’re not Jewish!”
So Bob dug into his grab bag of acquaintances and came up with a mix of friends and relatives, 10 all told (limited in size to stay manageable). He got the diversity he wanted – retired business owners, corporate execs, CEOs and CFOs put out to pasture, an ex-military guy.
And off they went.
“Our wives played bridge every Wednesday,” Bob said, “so that’s when we decided to meet. We take turns picking out a different restaurant every week. There are lots of good ones in Naples.”
I asked if they had officers. “Oh, no,” Bob said. “Nothing that structured. That would defeat the whole purpose.”
But Bob’s ROMEO group goes well beyond simple get-together meals. “We go to movies our wives wouldn’t go to,” he says. “We go to local auto shows, to ballgames in Ft. Myers. Last year we did a Caribbean cruise out of Ft. Lauderdale (wives included). We’ve got another cruise lined up in December.”
Intrigued, I went online to learn more about this phenomenon and found ROMEO “chapters” everywhere – in nearly every state and in six foreign countries. The reach is remarkable. (I’m told there is a women’s counterpart called the Red Hat Society.)
Some of the groups meet for breakfast or lunch rather than dinner, and some bring in speakers. One writes that its members are “bound together by age and gender … and the delight of just being together.” Causes or divisive politics are discouraged.
The history of ROMEO is murky. Its founding was estimated to be “several decades ago” and its original purpose was to provide support for depressed, doddering old guys with not enough to do. Early chapters in Maine were said to have brought together retired lumberjacks, lobstermen, even ship builders. Free lunches were provided and speakers were brought in to give “how to” lectures.
But the notion of coddling these old guys didn’t last long and breakout groups with verve and purpose soon took over. ROMEO clearly filled an unmet need: the male-to-male relationships men had in their working lives.
Its success is undoubtedly due to enforced informality. Don’t over-organize or take things too seriously. What’s important are the three F’s: Food-Friendship-Fun. Convene collegial groups and stand back.
Florida has a slug of ROMEO chapters beyond those in Naples. Here’s a partial list: Ocala, The Villages, Lakeland, Key West, Bonita Springs, Boynton Beach, Long Boat Key, Kissimmee, Singer Island.
Cape Cod has a chapter made up of 16 retired scientists who range in age from 73 to 104.
Little Rock has a group of local sports has-beens. Whether you played in a sand lot or a university stadium doesn’t matter. No one is very picky.
Sound interesting? If you can’t find something in Southwest Florida to your liking, start up your own chapter. Go online to ROMEO Club or email [email protected] or write to ROMEO, 335 Reef Road, Fairfield, CT 06824 to get some ideas.